Zooatel
by The Sacred and Profane
Summary: Tifa is on a mission and Reno's along for the ride. But why are they at a zoo? ReTi oneshot for aerisbolt.


Zooatel

AN: I own nothing in this story. This is for aerisbolt so enjoy! Please R&R.

"Tifa why are we at the zoo?" Tifa turned to look at her fiancé as he asked this question, a gleam in her eyes.

"We're on a mission," she answered.

"And what's the purpose of this mission?" Tifa moved a bit closer to him and kissed him on the lips. And as usual Reno's thoughts started to drift away when she did that. After breaking apart, she had a coy look on her face.

"Sorry, can't tell you but I'm sure you'll figure it out on your own," the barmaid replied. Reno gave a sigh and nodded.

"Fine, but if I haven't figured it out by tonight I might just have to pry the information out of you," he murmured, adding a seductive growl to his voice. Tifa's face turned a bit red then but she was saved from possibly caving in to her redhead when she saw a gleam of sunlight glinting off of a bald head.

"Rude, over here!" Reno's laconic partner came over to his two friends and greeted them with a barely noticeable smile.

"What are you doing here partner?" Reno asked. Rude gestured to Tifa.

"She invited me."

"Yes I did. I just thought it would be fun if you could join us." Before another word could be said however, Reno felt someone rush behind him. A cry suddenly rang out and the someone turned out to be Yuffie. The young ninja had managed to trip over her own feet and now her arms were cartwheeling in the air, fighting gravity's pull. Unfortunately she lost. Her fall was unexpectedly cushioned however, as she landed face first in between Tifa's breasts. Three things occurred at once.

Tifa gave a shriek and tried to get Yuffie's face out of her bosom, which was hampered by Yuffie trying to do the same, leading to their arms becoming entangled and their position staying the same.

Reno thanked the Lord, for like the usual male he found it rather hot when two women crashed together in such a fashion, even if it was an accident.

Rude dabbed at his nose with a handkerchief, cleaning up some blood that had managed to escape from his nostrils at the sight.

However the two female Avalanche members managed to separate a few moments later. Reno put his hands in his pockets and then realized just why Yuffie had decided to blind side him.

"Alright princess hand them over." Yuffie cocked her head to the side.

"What are you talking about Turkey?"

"My Materia, give it back." Yuffie gave a groan and handed him the two orbs she had managed to pilfer from the unsuspecting Turk.

"So why are you here anyway?" Reno asked. Yuffie pointed to Tifa.

"My best buddy invited me, that okay with you?" Yuffie stated, glaring at the redhead. Reno returned the glare with equal animosity and sparks were about to fly when Tifa interrupted them.

"Now behave you two, we're in public after all." Her face lit up when an idea struck her. "Yuffie how about you and Rude go through the west side of the zoo. Reno and I will take the other side, sound good?" Yuffie looked at Rude for the first time since she had arrived.

"I don't know, I guess it's-

"Great!" Tifa interrupted, taking Reno's hand and nearly dragging him away. Yuffie blinked at the empty space where her friends had just occupied and then looked at Rude. Rude stared back.

"Ready to go see some animals?" Rude gave a slight nod of his head.

"After you..."

* * *

After Tifa had dragged Reno away and out of view behind a building, she poked her head out and watched as her two friends started walking together.

"So far, so good..." Tifa said out loud.

"Don't tell me you're trying to set up Rude and Yuffie," Reno stated. But he had his answer when Tifa looked back at him, a gleam in her eyes.

"And what if I am?"

"It'll never work out, I mean she's a klepto blabber mouth and Rude's a guy who's lucky to speak more than twenty words a year." As Tifa listened to Reno's rationale she held up a finger and waved it back and forth.

"Oh yea of little faith, haven't you ever heard of opposites attract?"

"I have, I mean that's how we got together after all but I think this case is a little extreme for that to work," Reno said, moving behind Tifa and wrapping his arms around her waist.

"It'll work...love always works," Tifa said softly.

"You're hopelessly romantic you know that?" Reno replied.

"Says the guy who cries during _Beauty and The Beast_." Tifa shot back.

"I told you I had a flu that day and wasn't feeling like myself," Reno muttered. Tifa just laughed and kissed him on the cheek.

"I thought it was cute."

"Let's go see some animals babe," Reno said a few moments later.

"But I have to see if they'll get together," Tifa replied, gesturing towards the direction Yuffie and Rude were in.

"Just let it be and it'll probably work out. You showed them the door, they're the ones who have to open it." Tifa gave a sigh of resignation and followed after her fiancé.

* * *

Rude walked beside Yuffie, the ninja talking enough for the both of them.

"Can you believe Tifa's marrying that Turkey? I mean sure he's good looking but he rubs me the wrong way. How can you stand working with him all the time?"

"By being patient," Rude said. Yuffie looked a bit surprised that he answered her but soon got over it.

"Never thought about trying it that way, I just like teasing him." Yuffie looked around as they walked, taking in the variety of animals on display.

"What animal would you say best represents you?" Yuffie asked. Rude didn't reply. "C'mon Lurch you can tell me, it'll be fun!" Rude gave a sigh and pointed towards a large silver back gorilla. Yuffie nodded in understanding.

"That makes sense." She then puffed out her cheeks and looked at Rude making grunting noises. After a few seconds of this, she started laughing. "Nyuk, nyuk, just kidding. So what animal do you think I'm like?"

"A chipmunk," Rude responded.

"Are you saying I have chubby cheeks!" Yuffie exclaimed, face starting to turn red in anger. Rude shook his head.

"No, chipmunks are resourceful, like you." Yuffie had been ready to go off on a tirade but calmed down when he said this.

"They are huh? And I guess I'm pretty freaking awesome at thinking on my feet."

"And your cheeks are a little bigger than the average woman's." Rude teased before walking on ahead. Yuffie clenched her fist at that and rushed after the tall Turk.

"Oh yeah, well at least we chipmunks are smarter than some stupid gorilla with bad taste in sunglasses!" Yuffie yelled out. Rude was about to tease her in return when he felt a pair of feminine arms wrap around his neck. A fist then landed on his bald head, pressing down hard. "Take back what you said about my cheeks and I won't give you a noogie," Yuffie said calmly. Rude sighed and Yuffie smirked, thinking she had won.

"Chipmunks also tend to squeak too." Yuffie gave a shout and she noogied him something fierce. But Rude twisted and grabbed the ninja by the back of her shirt, effectively removing her from his back. Yuffie tried to escape his grip but he was holding her off the ground so it was futile.

"Let me down Lurch!"

"No," Rude replied calmly. The next thing he knew he felt a pair of lips locked with his. His eyes widened beneath his sunglasses as Yuffie kissed him. He found himself enjoying it and kissed back.

What had started as a diversionary tactic to break free from Rude's grip was quickly turning into something more, Yuffie realized. Who knew bald guys could kiss so well? But soon enough they had to breathe and they broke apart, Rude lowering Yuffie to the ground.

The ninja looked up at the Turk and smiled widely.

"I told you I could think quick on my feet," she boasted puffing out her chest. She then went on ahead, talking quickly once more. And all Rude could do was pinch himself to make sure he hadn't just dreamed the last few moments.

Yuffie thought she might be going insane. Did she like Rude? It seemed impossible but the more she thought about it the more she came to realize that just might be the case. Matters of the heart were a confusing thing to the ninja, as she usually was too busy stealing Materia to consider being in a relationship. And what would Godo think? Yuffie gave a snort at that. The old man would probably be pissed but that was nothing new with him.

Amid her thoughts a little kid came up to her, eyes teary. His cries broke Yuffie from her musings and she looked down at the child.

"What's wrong little guy?"

"I-I-lost my balloon! That mean old tree has it!" The boy pointed upwards and Yuffie saw a blue balloon snagged on a high branch. Looking back down at the boy, she smiled.

"Don't worry, I have a friend who'll help us get it out of there!"

"R-really?" The child said. Yuffie nodded and just at that moment Rude came upon the scene. Yuffie instantly went over to him and pointed to the balloon.

"We need to get that down so let me on your shoulders, got it?" Rude found himself nodding and he lifted the Avalanche member up. The balloon was soon free from it's prison and the child squealed with glee, hugging both Rude and Yuffie.

"Thanks so much!" A woman's voice called out then and the boy ran off, waving back at the pair. After waving back, Yuffie turned to Rude. She looked a bit out of sorts to the Turk.

"Um...I'm not really good at this but I was wondering if you'd like to maybe one day if you're not busy get a cup of coffee with me?" Rude didn't answer right away and Yuffie mentally kicked herself for sounding like a complete lamer.

"I'd like that," Rude said suddenly. Yuffie looked a little shocked but soon smiled.

"Great!"

"Yuffie, Rude, over here!" Tifa's voice called out. The two looked over and saw the barmaid waving at them. Apparently they had come full circle. As they got closer to their friends, they noticed Tifa had an excited look on her face.

"So, how was it?" Tifa looked back and forth between Rude and Yuffie as if expecting something. Yuffie whispered something in Rude's ear and he nodded.

"You guys planning something or- but Reno was silenced at the sight before his eyes. Yuffie and Rude kissing and not just a kiss on the cheek but full lip on lip action. Tifa cheered at the sight and when they broke apart, Yuffie giggled at Reno's open mouth.

"I know I'm sexy Turkey but there's no need for your jaw to hit the floor," Yuffie teased. Reno shut his mouth quickly though and looked at Rude.

"You and the princess? What's the world coming too?" Yuffie rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at the redhead.

"Congratulations you two!" Tifa said. Yuffie looked at her then and smiled once more.

"Thanks, although I have a feeling you set this up." Tifa's eyes went wide at that and she shook her head back and forth.

"Now why would I do something like that, hmm?" But she smirked as she said this, eerily matching Reno's trademark grin. Yuffie just shook her head in exasperation. Apparently it was true about couples picking up traits from each other. If that was the case Yuffie tried to imagine what she would look like bald. However another need soon broke into her thoughts.

"Let's just go get something to eat, I'm starving!" Reno and Tifa nodded and started to walk towards the exit, hands entwined. Yuffie looked back at Rude and reached a hand towards his face. But instead of lightly caressing his cheek as Rude had been expecting he soon found his sunglasses snatched away. Yuffie bolted towards the exit then, laughing heartily.

"Catch me if you can Lurch!" As Rude rubbed his amber eyes, he wondered just what he was getting himself into by falling in love with the ninja. But as he started to chase after her, he couldn't keep the smile from his face.

He couldn't wait to get her back for this.


End file.
